complicated love story of a girl :)

well, i've got a crush on him since i knew that i'm sitting in the same class with him. i had a friend who liked or maybe loved you when she was in seventh grade. when i asked her whether she still liked you or not, she said 'no, he's just a past time'. but a few days later, she told me that she likes you! suddenly, i felt a pang TT



honestly, it hurts me when she called your name, even it's only once, and when she acted like YOU like her. it made me feel so angry. but i know what would she did if she knew that i like you too. she'll do everything that makes you hated me or i hated you. so i decided to keep my mouth shut. and like i've told you up there, it hurts. and it felt like i WISH YOU CAN FEEL THE SAME PAIN AS I DO. all i can do is hiding under my feelings and pains. waiting dor you to see me and feel the same thing as my feelings.

for once more, she talked to me. and first she asked me unimportant things but really, i know what was she really wanted to talk about, YOU. told me about you, told me that you seemed like her. and that time, all i can do is keeping my mouth shut and gave a fake smile to her so she would be like a royal princess. but what was in my heart? PAIN. i don't know why i was so jealous seeing you and her texting everyday. and also, i don't know whether it is true love or just a monkey love.

i know you don't like me, and i can deserve it because i know i have no abilities. you can love anyone and not me. i'll be okay. but please, not her! she's just a mommy-kid. and fyi, she's a B**C*!

next day, as usual, felt a pain. pain is just what i ate everyday. why do you never look at me? why do you respond everything she does? it's not important. i know that i'm the only one who was jealous. i KNOW! but would you like to do the same thing you did to me to her? you can't, can you? why? i don't know and really I CARE.

well, you don't text me, you don't talk to me, what happened? have you found your love? little part of my heart is glad if that is true. but another part is hurt. and believe me, the pain kills my whole body until i think i need a painkiller. but i know that nothing could cure this such of illness. All i can do is hoping for your happiness with that somebody. wish you good luck :)

if i am brave enough, i will ask you the most annoying question that kept spinning around in my brain, DO YOU LOVE ME? hope you know my "most wanted" answer. i want you to say, YES I DO. but i realize that it is only my imagination. and i know that i'm nothing, i'm just nobody. but please.. wake up from your long sleep, please, i'm begging you. from my entire life, i've never have this kind of love. but i can't say that this is a love story. why? cause you don't respond my feelings..

if you see this posting you probably think that i am aggressive. but this is me.

WELL, NOW I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. CAUSE I'VE FOUND ANOTHER ONE :) BUT STILL, I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK ON YOUR OWN STORY :))





xoxo, girl a.k.a NADINE xP