Chapter 1, Page 20 of 366.

this two-third part of the month had been super rocky for me. i cheered, i grieved, and i exploded.
have you ever missed someone that they got into your dreams? have you ever felt like you've been stabbed? have you ever felt butterflies flying in your tummy? have you ever had your tears run down your eyes? have you ever sobbed so hard that you just want to hide under the earth and never pop your head back up again? have you ever felt like something's been put inside your throat but you never managed to get it out? have you ever missed someone so bad? have you ever had the desire to hug someone that doesn't even want to be a part of your life? honestly, i've never felt any of those things till now.

since the day i decided not to have anything to do with this particular person, i feel like i don't deserve to go to my current school. it's like something's pulling me out of there. i've always thought i belong there for the people are so nice, well some of them. and i thought i'd fit in perfectly which i kinda did. haha, well not perfectly but pretty well. but then i started having a crush on  this person. and he is PRRFFFTTHHHH <-- fart sound. well he's not that bad actually. but he's keeping me on the hook!

wtfffff-___________- and im having this conflict with a teacher who i used to like  A LOT! but something went wrong, and i regreted it. but what can i do now? she keeps sarcastically talking about me in front of the whole class. i know i was wrong. but is there any point in humiliating me? firetruck-_-

But still, i thank God for giving me such friends. who are understanding, cooperative, caring, affectionate, kind, and loving and supportive! i love you:):):):).

Thankyou yang terlupa;)

I've been making friends with these two guys who actually went to the same junior high as i did. I was pretty close with the first guy as we were in the same homeroom during our seventh grade, haha he was my laughing mate with another friend which is my current best guyfriend. Haha, and the other one, i never had the chance to you know like be close? Idk, i hated him for looking so.... Snobbish? Idk. But turns out he was pretty cool. Words coming from his mouth are full of sarcasm, somehow those words are comfortable at the same time. They both have lighten up pretty much each nights since the day i enter this school of.... judgement? Haha whatever.

They make me laugh and smile every time i read their chats. We do conference chat everyday. It's fun! Haha i can always talk about anything, they will not judge, they'll make fun of me instead and it's nice in some ways haha, i do the same to them too. When one of us starts to speak nonsense, we'll just ignore it. But the chat continues anyway! I don't know if its too early to call them my best buddies, but they're the best so far.. They stay true to themselves and that's comforting!

Even when talking about our crushes, we're not being serious, we just have fun with it. And sometimes, i need those fun stuffs. Most of my girlfriends say these things about the chance of my crush likes me too, when they don't even know them. They just do this to comfort me and give me hope, well what they do is kinda nice, but i sometimes am tired of hoping to high, and these talks make me you knowwwww sick. Haha but when i tell the two guys, they just tell me not to dream too high and have fun with life. Haha that's not exactly what they told me, they speak sarcasm in a funny way, but that pretty much is the point haha

I haven't thanked them in my previous post, cos honestly, i forgot. Hahahahahahahaha

Sooooo, sorry for the late post even when you two dont read or even know my blog ahaha

Dear triadi&brandon,

Happy new year sobats!! Semoga kita menjadi yang terbaik di smak1! Banggain pgs eaaa, haha semoga makin rajin + makin deket sama Tuhan!
Dan skrg tgl 6, kebetulan sekali.
Happy birthday brandon freak. Tambah yang baik2, jgn ngefreak lg, salam super \m/ haha

merry christmas! :)

merry christmas and happy early new year to you someone who is reading this post :)

well i dont really know what to say. anyway, right now's 2am 27th  of Dec 2011. so its not really christmas haha this christmas was....... pretty cool. i gave no one my heart last year. but i guess im kinda in the process of doing that thing this year. i dont really have too much faith but i still have some remaining haha.

by the waaay i was just having a little bbm chat with one of my best friends. this guy, well i did think he wasnt that good, well you know, ive had these negative thoughts about him. haha but it turns out that those neg thoughts werent necessary! he was still a good friend and i think he'll always be! haha thankyou jeemz! you really opened my mind by saying those things :) wish you luck with everything you're going through these days. all you need to do is sit tight and let the christmas miracle works its magic :)

anddddddd to this particular guy who is currently having his holiday pretty far away from me, merry christmas :). i've forgiven you for everything you did or will do like you wished. im a good person after all! confession! i miss our earlier holiday, you know, the idulfitri holiday?;) and i miss that afternoon. if youre thinking of that time you accompanied me to school, all the way across the busy street, youre right. haha. well theres no point writing for you anyway since you probably dont know this blog exists.

aaaaand for these lovable peopleeeeeeeeeee : CINDYYUWONO IVANNA ANAS ICON STEVAN ANGGA YOI ANDREWCHRIST! merry christmasssssssss! keep rocking my rockable world! you guys are the best mornight mate! i will never forget that conference call we had! haha since im the one who called;) wish you all a peaceful holiday! really looking forward to our next phone call! stay up late very soon guyss! :hugs

thenthenthen! to these guys over hereeeee ANGELAKRISTOFANI, VANESSADUBAI  ELISHASENTOSO! have merry  christmas to you threeeeeeeeee! you are my best girlfriends! thankyou for listenin to every unimportant story i've told you! i know i can count on you like you should know you all can count on me :)

ummmmmm and to my best smuki buddiesssss SUSAN GLENDA MERRY! happy christmas yaaaaaaaaaaaa! its fun having crosspresents with you guys! really dying for our next event together! without any disturb from iaman! hahaha i love youyouyouuuuuu:):):):):))

and to my smuki classmates, have an enjoyable peaceful christmas to all of you:) may His blessings fill your heart! 


last but not least, to my beloved family. have a merry little christmas. sorry for the nasty acts of mine. i just couldnt help it. but still ilove you:D

HARD TO LOVE YOU

I dont understand

why i am so attend in love with you

lying alone in bed

got pictures in my head what you might do

you dont need to fly escape but why are you always late?

It's hard to love you

why do you treat me like you do

the stress you put me through

you drive me crazy

leaving me weak and checking, too

all i want is you

it's hard to love you 

you, day another fight

patchy bags and everythigs alright again

can you walk the line

am i the only one who song, your mine

but when you are here

my doubts will disappear..

it's hard to love you, but it's harder not to

:D

found this on tumblr :)
my answer's in italic!

Invade my privacy. Anon or not.

• 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? - well i hope so
• 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? - yes :). im 15 btw
• 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? - ummm, right now.
• 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? - haha yes i would. i have done such things anyway.
• 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? - hah?
• 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? - yeeeeeeep :S
• 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? - my favorite tshirt and shorts <3
• 8. How often do you listen to music? - like SO OFTEN often :)
• 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? - jeans. definitely. 
• 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012? - no idea.
• 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? - social haha, but i can be antisocial when i want to.
• 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? - nope.
• 13. What about ‘R’?  - naaah.
• 14. Can you drive a stick shift? - whats a stick shift? :/
• 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? - in fact..... i do care. 
• 16. Are you going out of town soon? - no im not :)
• 17. When was the last time you cried? - yesterday :(
• 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? - yes i have.
• 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? - maybe. but i still like it the way it is
• 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? - ..... yes there is haha
• 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. - THE WAY MY SISTER KEEPS DISTURBING ME!
• 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? - yes it issssssss!
• 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? - the last person i talked to is my driver. THINK.
• 24. What are you sitting on right now?  - what kinda question is this? haha on a chair btw
• 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? - haha not recently.
• 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? - in fact i have.
• 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? - him <3
• 28. Do you get a lot of colds? - nope . haha
• 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? - BALI!
• 30. Does anyone hate you? - maybe, i dunno.
• 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? - im proudly saying NO I DONT HAVE ANY EMPTY ALCOHOL BOTTLE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE IN MY ROOM!.
• 32. Do you like watching scary movies? - sometimes haha
• 33. Do you want your tongue pierced? - NO. YUCK
• 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? - when i was in my 3rd grade.
• 35. Did you have a dream last night? - dont really remember haha
• 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? - quite a long time ago.
• 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? - hahaha no i dont
• 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? - haha yea i do.
• 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? -  i hope so.
• 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? -  not so. but pretty good.
• 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? -  nope.
• 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? - maybe.. im a girl myself so i hang out with tons of girls haha
• 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? - hmmmm 
• 44. What’s the best part about school? - RECESS!
• 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? - SUREEEE
• 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? -  yesssss its fun!
• 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? - sometimes
• 48. Were you single over the last summer? - yes i was
• 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? - some things changed, but overall, quite the same.
• 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? -  studying. sleeping. maybe.
• 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? -  nope. i actually kinda like him.
• 52. Are you nice to everyone? -  i think i am.
• 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? - yes. a lot.
• 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? - yes i can!
• 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? - too good to be true haha
• 56. Do you think you like someone? -  yes indeed iam liking someone
• 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? - nahh
• 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? -  both are cool.
• 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? - yesss
• 60. Do you hate anyone? - not currently
• 61. How’s your heart? - about to break
• 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?  -  yes there is. 
• 63. Have you ever cried over a guy? - patheticly, yes i have
• 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? -  hahahaai dont know.
• 65. Are your toenails painted pink? -  nope.
• 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? -  it wont. hopefully.
• 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? - hahhaa no! well it depends on their reasons.
• 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?  -  nope.
• 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? - my crush <3
• 70. How do you look right now? - glasses. unfairly tanned. 
• 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? -  yes haha
• 72. Can you commit to one person? -  maybe
• 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? - yepp
• 74. Have you ever felt replaced? -  yeaaaaa!
• 75. Did you wake up cranky?  -  no i didnt
• 76. Are you a jealous person? -  i can be a super jealous person.
• 77. Are relationships ever worth it? - sometimes
• 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? -  theres this someone im about to give up on
• 79. Currently wanting to see anyone? -  yeaah
• 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? -  study biology!
• 81. Last person you cried in front of? -  iiii forgot.
• 82. Is there someone you will never forget? -  yeaa
• 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? -  i dont know.
• 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? - trying to never let that person go.
• 85. Are you over your past? - not really
• 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? -  hahhaa yes.
• 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? -  nope.
• 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? - depends on the presents! HHAHAHAHA
• 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? -  i wont wake up anyway.
• 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? -  yesss
• 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? -  im not a fortuneteller.
• 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? -  yep hhaha 
• 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? - nope-__-
• 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? - what sort of relationship? friendshp? i was. it was awesome, in fact, it's still going on today.
• 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? - not really.
• 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? - shes my sister. so, yea shes attractive!haha
• 97. Who do you have texts from? -  i dont know. a lot. but i use bbm more often
• 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? -  i'll say congratulations and walk away. 
• 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? -  yes, my parents.
• 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? -  by bestest buddy ever, ANGELA :)
• 101. Ever kissed under fireworks? -  NO.
• 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? -  in the stomach? YEP <3
• 
  

6 and 7.

6th November 2011

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY GRAMMAAAAAAAAAAAA
stay the best and have a long happy life here with your sons and daughter, and your son and daughters in law. and of course, with your indescribably lovely grandsons-and-daughtersssssss! :D:D i love you! Godbless :)



7th November 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOUUUUUU :)
you don't know anything about everything.
but happy birthday anyway may God grant you all your wishes. Godblessya!



ps : sorry for the late birthday greetings!

Muka Musang

Geeeeeeeeeeez gue item bangeet! Gimana yah, anak sporty baru pulang character camp. Gehla pas disana kan gue pake sunblock bejibun, jadi gue merasa putih. Terus 3 hari gak ketemu kaca, gue masih merasa putih, hari ketiga siang gue ngaca disalah satu mobil tentara, cuma mau ngecek muka gue kayak apa kalo pake topi tentara super gahols aja gak pake banget. Kaca mobilnya juga pake film so i didnt really care about the colour of my skin. Gue cuma merasa yaaaaa gak aneh2 banget lah ya gue pake topi kayak gitu. Jedinggggg nyampe rumah!

Kena lampu terang, tuing kok kayaknya gue menghitam. Masih mikir 'eh gue pake sunblock, dahlah perasaan doang' naik ke atas. Masuk kamar mandi. Tooeeengggggg MAMPUS GUE BELANG MAKSIMAAAAAAAL.
Buka kacamata! Anjriiiittt muka guueeeee! Belang mampus.
Mendekat ke kaca! MATI GUE ITEM BANGET SUMPAH DEKIL

Gue merasa kayak pembantu. Literally. Embak gue aja cakep loh. Oiya no offense btw. Gue benar2 malu kalo jalan sama nyokap gue haha. Apalagi kemaren gue ke mall gitu. Gue ngerasa semua orang ngeliatin gue sambil mikir ' ini item banget loh. Anaknya bukan ya. Eh kayaknya enggak deh pembantu kali ya. Baik banget nih ibu, ngajakin pembantunya jalan2'
Babiiiiiiiiiiiiiii gue kira gak seitem ini :(

Anwsebelum character camp gue deg2an, trauma cc kelas 9. Gue masih kebayang disuruh jongkok berjam2, disuruh sit up push up dan tiduran ditanah basah. Di bentak2 kakak pembina. Sempet kepikiran mau bikin badan gue sakit jadi gausah pergi. Sempet mikir 'elaaah makalah doang wooy kalo ga ikut' tapi akhirnya gue tetep ikut, karena gue memikirkan kemungkinan bakal sama kayak cc anak2 ags. Ternyata....... Lebih parah.

Udahlah yaa gapenting gue ceritain haha. Fyiiiii! Kan pas ujan gue sama temen2 gue ngobrol sama salah satu TNI disanaa, ternyata gaji TNI AU 1,5 juta aja. Itu masih harus bayar uang sekolah anak. Setelah gue pikir mateng2, makan di kantin smuki aja masih kurang:S. Kan itu kerjaan secara gak langsung mewajibkan membunuh orang. Latihannya berat. Dsbdsbdsb jorok lagi. Tp gaji cuman segitu. Pasti tentara jiwa nasionalismenya tinggi maksimal loh haha, keren yah! Eh tapi sekalipun keren gue gak mau jadi tentaraaaaaaaa!!!!!!!


WISH YOU TONS OF LUCK KAKAK KAKAK PASKHAS BATALYON 461. SEMOGA KAGAK CEPET TUA KEMAREN MARAH MARAHIN KITA. SEMOGA SUATU SAAT NANTI DAPET KENAIKAN GAJI! MERDEKAAAAAAAAAA HHOHOHOHO